Mar(July08o9)
Hii. So like... there's things I need to get out and its driving me crazy until I get it out. I would tell you over the phone, but my mother fucking house phone isn't working.. and I know I probably wouldn't be able to talk straight, so you'd be like "huuhh??" the whole time xD but yeah. sorry that its so long haha.
So you know how I said that I'd rather stay up late thinking of you than to go to sleep? well i finally realized why. Its cuz just thinking about you keeps me happy. And you know what I think about most of the time? I think about how it would be if you and I were together, I think about our conversations we had during the day and how the second I sign off, I miss talking to you already.
So these thoughts and many more keeps a smile on my face and a this feeling in my tummy. And even if I dream of you, the sweetest dream would just never do. Because I'd just wake up anyways and reality would hit me. it hurts cuz i could be having the greatest dream that i wish was reality and once i wake up, it wasn't real. but when I wake up, for some reason I can still smile just because you are the first thought in my mind. Every freakin morning xD
You know what else? I feel like I'm really really really lucky. I'm lucky because I'm talking to you, an amazing girl. I'm lucky because I have you stuck in my head all day and freakin night haha. I'm lucky to be able to dream and to feel these feelings I have for you. And Im really lucky cuz you... like me. Out of all people, me? I mean you probably don't feel the same way as I do, but you like mee :D haha I swear something is wrong with your mind to like me but I'm veryy happy you do :) You make me so happy, you dont even know. I cant help but smile everytime i talk to you. Its almost impossible to try to explain how exactly I feel about you right now. It might just be as impossible as trying to find someone's tear drops in the ocean.. Impossible right? I swear, I havent felt like this since i first started falling for my ex... and thats the thing.. I don't know what to do. I actually feel that I'm falling for you. But I'm really... really scared to fall for you even more cuz I fear getting hurt again and going through it all over. But I cant help falling. Its like my heart has a mind of its own and i guess its gonna do whatever is true, right or wrong. Ugh I don't know what it is about you but like youre really something amazing. I honestly do not fall easily but yet here I am, easily falling for every smile and every word you say.
You make me feel like a million bucks<3
Marvelous<3
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